So I'm back in the "single crowd" and I guess the date I went on 2 days ago would constitute as date number 2 in the month of October with another dud. I hate dating and really wish that I could just have the FBI find me a man so that I wouldn’t have to ask a billion and one questions about shyt that really doesn't matter in the end.
But alas, a girl gets bored and has to entertain herself somehow.... So here’s a story about a man with no manners...
I caved in and went to dinner with a classmate of mine. Yes I can hear the whys and groans, but and I know I shouldn't mix my classes up with fun times. So I will give you a quick overview of this "man." I am the youngest person in all of my masters classes and one of a handful of Hispanics, so I stand out easily (not to mention my weird name)... any who, all of the "adults" are over 30 but there are no halfway good looking men in this program that are even close to my age. This is also a small program and not the place for mingling and dating, but let’s just say "Old Dude" (as I like to call him) has been trying to get in my pants for a bout a year and that’s one of the many reasons I ignored him. But behold, that night I was hungry and seriously bored so when he called and said "I want to take you out to dinner" I just said Ok, instead of bombarding him with 500 reasons why I can't go out.
Keep in mind we are in the majority of the same classes together but he is graduating a year before me (I took some time off) and we have had a few group projects together, so we have had several opportunities to "hang out" in the library and on 2 occasions I even passed by his house but my intentions were NEVER to fraternize and become a "thing." He is 35, has 5 kids, 2 ex-wives, is very educated (3rd masters), in the military, has a BMW, a "dad mobile", and a motorcycle and is tattooed up. If I was a gold digger my eyes would be saying CACHING$$$!!! But since I could give a rats ass about a man's assets this is all flash and so not attractive (especially the 5 kids)
So he picks me up in his DAD MOBILE and dressed in full work attire, making me feel underdressed and like I'm going out with my uncle and says "hey Little Bit" (I hate that nickname!!!!) "Let’s find some food. Its after sunset and I can eat now" (he's Muslim). Before I tell you the rest of the story, I must tell you what he was wearing in specific that made me a little nervous. He had on a full suit, Pepto-Bismol PINK shirt, PINK suspenders, Gucci loafers, gray pants and jacket and tan overcoat. I was scared of all the PINK since I HATE PINK.
He has a flashy personality but in a Cam’ Ron sort of way. Ghetto flashy, he likes minks and likes toothpicks in his mouth for no reason. He dubbed himself an "enigma" because he is "an educated man from the hood" and can "rock a suit and tie" but once you take off the suit, he is "tatted up like a mothafucka." He is all about the "black man's struggle" (nothing wrong with that) but I think he has an identity crisis because he doesn't know how to "leave the streets behind". (All things in this paragraph were quoted from the individual being described)
So moving along.... I give him a run down of all the restaurants in the area and say I have no problems eating anywhere except Applebee’s. He says how bout Applebee’s. !!!!! What the Fish sticks! I hate Applebee’s and ate it way too much in HS and undergrad so I avoid it as much as possible. I thought I was being juvenile at one point because I listed a string of establishments that the "younger generation" go to. Boy was I wrong.
Instead of being mean, I say how about cheesecake factory. Turns out he's never been there (and there's one right next to his house?!) So I thought what a great opportunity to introduce him to a step up from Applebee’s.
We drive to the "fine establishment" (lmao) and he is just plain rude! We have never hung out in "public" before and his arrogance shone like the sun on a midsummer’s day. OMG I was embarrassed. He was rude to the waiter, and when he looked at the menu, he looks and asks me where the chicken wings and French fries are??? WHAT?? If you wanted that then why not just got to "Kennedy's Fried Chicken" and call it a day. Why even take me out to dinner??
I know I seem like I'm some kind of high class bougie chick, but the man is 35 and I felt like he should have been a bit more well mannered and being that he has 3 masters degrees a bit more cultured. That was a bad assumption on my part.
I ordered an appetizer and so did he. I thought we could share one but unfortunately he is not into trying new things. I understand that because I am a picky eater but I at least taste certain things before totally knocking them. I ordered my five, avocado egg rolls. He DID NOT know what an avocado was!!!!!! I was silent... I heard the crickets..........
Now riddle me this: You grew up in the Bronx where there are Bodegas on almost every corner, and Hispanics almost everywhere and you never in your life had a Puerto Rican or Dominican friend (especially Dominicans) mention it before??? You were married to a Puerto Rican woman and you never heard of an avocado at all??? All I have is one word: WOW!
I would have cut him some slack if he wasn't throwing his X up all the damn time and talking about his days in the hood of the Boogie down Bronx.
He continued his rudeness and talked about his 5 kids and told me stories about his ex-wives and so on, while I had a Dave Chappelle moment and thought about every possible thing imaginable. A few examples: "I wonder what my boss is doing." "What ever happened to Pluto?" "I wonder if my fish are singing in the tank planning a great escape." "When will my roomy get some ass?" "What does God really look like and do I really want to find out now?" "Jesus was black" "I rather be at work" etc....
By the time the main course came I was ready to go to bed. I never wanted to go home so fast. I didn't even care that he was paying.
He complained about how his plate had toooo much chicken (beforehand I told him the portions are large). I thought to myself "is he really whining? Is he really 35?? Didn’t he say he hadn't eaten all day??" So I just say "eat what you can and save the rest."
I'm going to fast fwd to the end of the evening. He takes me home and mentions how he wanted to "see my fish tank" and I answer "well kido I got to go and do homework, catcha later!" and leave his mini van
Not the worst date in the world but pretty bad for an older man. I have never been out with some one more then 4 years older than me and this taught me that age doesn't matter. I felt like I was the adult out of the two. So not fun!
But alas, a girl gets bored and has to entertain herself somehow.... So here’s a story about a man with no manners...
I caved in and went to dinner with a classmate of mine. Yes I can hear the whys and groans, but and I know I shouldn't mix my classes up with fun times. So I will give you a quick overview of this "man." I am the youngest person in all of my masters classes and one of a handful of Hispanics, so I stand out easily (not to mention my weird name)... any who, all of the "adults" are over 30 but there are no halfway good looking men in this program that are even close to my age. This is also a small program and not the place for mingling and dating, but let’s just say "Old Dude" (as I like to call him) has been trying to get in my pants for a bout a year and that’s one of the many reasons I ignored him. But behold, that night I was hungry and seriously bored so when he called and said "I want to take you out to dinner" I just said Ok, instead of bombarding him with 500 reasons why I can't go out.
Keep in mind we are in the majority of the same classes together but he is graduating a year before me (I took some time off) and we have had a few group projects together, so we have had several opportunities to "hang out" in the library and on 2 occasions I even passed by his house but my intentions were NEVER to fraternize and become a "thing." He is 35, has 5 kids, 2 ex-wives, is very educated (3rd masters), in the military, has a BMW, a "dad mobile", and a motorcycle and is tattooed up. If I was a gold digger my eyes would be saying CACHING$$$!!! But since I could give a rats ass about a man's assets this is all flash and so not attractive (especially the 5 kids)
So he picks me up in his DAD MOBILE and dressed in full work attire, making me feel underdressed and like I'm going out with my uncle and says "hey Little Bit" (I hate that nickname!!!!) "Let’s find some food. Its after sunset and I can eat now" (he's Muslim). Before I tell you the rest of the story, I must tell you what he was wearing in specific that made me a little nervous. He had on a full suit, Pepto-Bismol PINK shirt, PINK suspenders, Gucci loafers, gray pants and jacket and tan overcoat. I was scared of all the PINK since I HATE PINK.
He has a flashy personality but in a Cam’ Ron sort of way. Ghetto flashy, he likes minks and likes toothpicks in his mouth for no reason. He dubbed himself an "enigma" because he is "an educated man from the hood" and can "rock a suit and tie" but once you take off the suit, he is "tatted up like a mothafucka." He is all about the "black man's struggle" (nothing wrong with that) but I think he has an identity crisis because he doesn't know how to "leave the streets behind". (All things in this paragraph were quoted from the individual being described)
So moving along.... I give him a run down of all the restaurants in the area and say I have no problems eating anywhere except Applebee’s. He says how bout Applebee’s. !!!!! What the Fish sticks! I hate Applebee’s and ate it way too much in HS and undergrad so I avoid it as much as possible. I thought I was being juvenile at one point because I listed a string of establishments that the "younger generation" go to. Boy was I wrong.
Instead of being mean, I say how about cheesecake factory. Turns out he's never been there (and there's one right next to his house?!) So I thought what a great opportunity to introduce him to a step up from Applebee’s.
We drive to the "fine establishment" (lmao) and he is just plain rude! We have never hung out in "public" before and his arrogance shone like the sun on a midsummer’s day. OMG I was embarrassed. He was rude to the waiter, and when he looked at the menu, he looks and asks me where the chicken wings and French fries are??? WHAT?? If you wanted that then why not just got to "Kennedy's Fried Chicken" and call it a day. Why even take me out to dinner??
I know I seem like I'm some kind of high class bougie chick, but the man is 35 and I felt like he should have been a bit more well mannered and being that he has 3 masters degrees a bit more cultured. That was a bad assumption on my part.
I ordered an appetizer and so did he. I thought we could share one but unfortunately he is not into trying new things. I understand that because I am a picky eater but I at least taste certain things before totally knocking them. I ordered my five, avocado egg rolls. He DID NOT know what an avocado was!!!!!! I was silent... I heard the crickets..........
Now riddle me this: You grew up in the Bronx where there are Bodegas on almost every corner, and Hispanics almost everywhere and you never in your life had a Puerto Rican or Dominican friend (especially Dominicans) mention it before??? You were married to a Puerto Rican woman and you never heard of an avocado at all??? All I have is one word: WOW!
I would have cut him some slack if he wasn't throwing his X up all the damn time and talking about his days in the hood of the Boogie down Bronx.
He continued his rudeness and talked about his 5 kids and told me stories about his ex-wives and so on, while I had a Dave Chappelle moment and thought about every possible thing imaginable. A few examples: "I wonder what my boss is doing." "What ever happened to Pluto?" "I wonder if my fish are singing in the tank planning a great escape." "When will my roomy get some ass?" "What does God really look like and do I really want to find out now?" "Jesus was black" "I rather be at work" etc....
By the time the main course came I was ready to go to bed. I never wanted to go home so fast. I didn't even care that he was paying.
He complained about how his plate had toooo much chicken (beforehand I told him the portions are large). I thought to myself "is he really whining? Is he really 35?? Didn’t he say he hadn't eaten all day??" So I just say "eat what you can and save the rest."
I'm going to fast fwd to the end of the evening. He takes me home and mentions how he wanted to "see my fish tank" and I answer "well kido I got to go and do homework, catcha later!" and leave his mini van
Not the worst date in the world but pretty bad for an older man. I have never been out with some one more then 4 years older than me and this taught me that age doesn't matter. I felt like I was the adult out of the two. So not fun!
posted by Nifty at 10:20 AM
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